Scientology Here I Come

With Katie Holmes converting to scientology and with other stars such as Tom Cruise and Jason Lee already members, I have decided to convert myself. I mean, I want to be famous and converting might just do the trick.

I am going to be ordering Scientology: The Fundamentals of Thought and I'm going to read it. I'm going to have an open mind. I'm going to do as much research as I can and then hopefully I'll be able to save the money needed to be enlightened. But, I figure for seven dollars, it must be worth the read. I mean, millions of people are scientologists. Why not me?

Hell, if it works even one millionth as much as it seems to work for most people, I might actually stick with it. I mean, I'm depressed and miserable all of the time, so I'll try anything.

That's all. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be crazy and believe weird shit, but I might just be happy and have a blockbuster movie opening sometime soon.