I blog, therefore I am.....lame

So, you know what I noticed? Of the few people I have on MySpace as friends, I talk to maybe four of them on a semi-regular basis. Know what the sad thing is? Those people are the people that I actually met thru Myspace. The actual people that I actually met before this whole internet thing happened don't talk to me. How awesome is that? Apparently, I'm super cool as long as you don't really know me.

Know what else? Eat a bowl of fuck if you are in a relationship and feel the need to advertise it to the rest of the world. Okay, the first two weeks, fine. I understand. I would do the same thing. Hell, I'd hire a skywrite to spell it out in the... anyone wanna guess? That's right, in the sky. I'd even go as far as to mail out notices to everyone I know telling them that I finally found a blind girl. I would assume that she'd be blind if she were dating me. But, my point is, those first few weeks are the time to let everyone know that you are awesome and that you no longer need to talk to them because you found someone who's way more important.

But if you've been dating for more than two weeks and you feel the need to start every sentence with "Me and my girlfriend..." then seriously, eat a bowl of fuck. If you drop your boyfriend's name in a story more than religious freaks drop the name Jesus, then you can eat a bowl of fuck. If you have been dating more than two weeks and you have the nerve to tell me "you'll find someone" then you can eat a bowl of fuck.

Wow, I think I just found my comedy angle. Instead of "You might be a redneck if..." I'll be the "You can eat a bowl of fuck if..."

If you've ever called me on the phone to tell me you just had the fuck of a lifetime.... you can eat a bowl of fuck.

If you've ever told me that you can't talk because your boyfriend won't let you talk to other guys.... you can eat a bowl of fuck.

If you've ever emailed me a picture of you and if just happened to be the picture of you getting groped by your frat boy boyfriend... you can eat a bowl of fuck.

If you've ever told me that you just wanted to stay single and then two days later you started dating a douche bag... you can eat a bowl of fuck.

If you've ever told me we're too good of friends to start dating and then you started dating one of your other friends... you can eat a bowl of fuck.

If you've ever come up to me after a show and ask me to introduce you to the hot guy in the band... you can eat a bowl of fuck.

If you've ever dated some douche bag and told me I would make a much better boyfriend, but you kept on dating said douche bag... you can eat a bowl of fuck.

If you've ever been a woman... ever.... you can eat a bowl of fuck.