What would you do for a Klondike bar?

I'd kill a hobo. What would you do?

W.W.J.D.?

He's probably give the hobo a sandwich. That's why I know I'm not the second coming of Christ. Also, I'm not Jewish.

I am circumsized, which is a practice of Jews. Also, it's more than you wanted to know about me. Speaking of things you didn't want to know about me, I have a little tab of skin on my weiner where the doctor screwed up cutting off the foreskin. I think the little tab sucked up all of my penis-growing energy. That's why it's so tiny. Not that anyone would know for sure. Three lovely ladies know, but they ain't talking.

So, I heard about the practice of the "second virginity." It's where guys and girls who have had sex already decide to abstain from sex so they can give the guy or girl they marry their "second virginity." So, from now on, I'm no longer a loser, I'm just saving my "second virginity" for marriage. Of course, I'm never going to get married so at least I can take solace in the fact that I'm saving something. I mean, I'm not saving souls or money, I might as well save my "second virginity." Maybe that's what I'll the new band that I'm never going to start.

Or maybe I'll call it "Chess Team Alan Harris."

Maybe not.

So, today is Day 1 of Project Asshole. I just decided now that this blog will become my chronicle of being an asshole. I'm going to be rude and mean to girls and just talk about it on here. It should be fun.

There's not much to speak of today at Team Asshole. Things will get better as the days go on and I get used to not caring. It will really get better when a girl comes to me for advice and I tell her to shut the hell up. Just typing this stuff right now is making me fall in love with the idea of telling a girl to shut her trap. Fuck, I might not even put it on the internt. I might actually buy a journal for this. Already being an asshole is paying dividends. I'm no longer bummed.