It's Official!!!
I'm almost ready to die. The reason?
Masturbation has lost its fun. I don't enjoy it anymore. It's rather sad. The only thing keeping me from officially being ready to die is that I still think farts are funny. Once you stop laughing at farts, you are ready to go.
It's also official that I'm a huge piece of turd. The reason?
This is my 100th blog. How fucking gay is that? Seriously. Most people who write this much shit do it because they have a ton of people who read it and they also say something important. Since when it talking about my bleeding asshole or some girl who's dating a douche bag important? It's not.
Yet, I still keep writing in this stupid thing like it's going to change my life somehow. All it does is make me even more depressed because I've sunk to this level. Does that mean I'm going to stop writing in this stupid thing? Hell no. I'm much too pathetic to do that.
Do you hate Larry the Cable Guy? Want to see David Cross rip him a new one? Just click HERE ya sack of shit!
Is it just me, or is Christmas time the most depressing time of year? It's just goddamn sad. Everyone trying their best to impress everyone else with the great gifts they give. Not to mention all of the lovey-dovey bullshit shit us uggos have to put up with. It's sickening. And don't even get me started on New Year's Eve. Possibly the saddest day ever. Of course, this year my plan is to get super drunk and pass out by 9pm. That way I'll have a reason why I didn't kiss anybody. Hooray for plans!
So, Christmas is bullshit. I hate it. It hate the fact that every Jesus lover out there wants to use the day as a reason to force their religion down my throat. Sorry to all of you Christians out there, but Jesus was hardly born on December 25th. Let's talk September. Most signs point to that month.
In fact, Christmas was being celebrated WAY before Jesus was ever born. It was originally a pagan holiday. As the days got shorter and shorter, people would use the celebration as a way of appeasing their gods. They would ask that their gods bring the sun back to them. That's why the celebration was held around the winter soltice, which is the shortest day of the year. So, how did it become attributed to the birth of Christ?
Well, after Rome took over the world, the emporer started following this new fangled religion called Christianity. The church decreed that there would be no celebrations to the pagan gods. That didn't go over too well. In fact, no one really wanted to convert. The church decided to let the heathens have their celebration (a celebration that went AGAINST the teachings of the church) but instead of celebrating the pagan gods they would be celebrating the birth of Jesus. The people didn't really care just as long as they got to have their celebration. From then on, Christmas was no long a pagan holiday, mostly because of the apathy of the masses.
Obviously, that's a very brief history of Christmas, but it's important to know that Christmas is NOT Jesus' birthday nor was it originally a Christian holiday. The same goes for Easter. Leave it to the pagans to invent the two most holy Christian holidays.
That's going to be the next tv show I pitch to the networks. "Those Wacky Pagans" should be hitting the UPN sometime next fall.
Wow, this stupid entry just went all over the place. I need to get laid so I can finally clear my mind of all this stupid shit.
Seriously, though, see Larry the Cable Guy get his asshole ripped by David Cross!!! It's fucking awesome. David Cross is to comedy what punk rock is to music. That made no sense.
Masturbation has lost its fun. I don't enjoy it anymore. It's rather sad. The only thing keeping me from officially being ready to die is that I still think farts are funny. Once you stop laughing at farts, you are ready to go.
It's also official that I'm a huge piece of turd. The reason?
This is my 100th blog. How fucking gay is that? Seriously. Most people who write this much shit do it because they have a ton of people who read it and they also say something important. Since when it talking about my bleeding asshole or some girl who's dating a douche bag important? It's not.
Yet, I still keep writing in this stupid thing like it's going to change my life somehow. All it does is make me even more depressed because I've sunk to this level. Does that mean I'm going to stop writing in this stupid thing? Hell no. I'm much too pathetic to do that.
Do you hate Larry the Cable Guy? Want to see David Cross rip him a new one? Just click HERE ya sack of shit!
Is it just me, or is Christmas time the most depressing time of year? It's just goddamn sad. Everyone trying their best to impress everyone else with the great gifts they give. Not to mention all of the lovey-dovey bullshit shit us uggos have to put up with. It's sickening. And don't even get me started on New Year's Eve. Possibly the saddest day ever. Of course, this year my plan is to get super drunk and pass out by 9pm. That way I'll have a reason why I didn't kiss anybody. Hooray for plans!
So, Christmas is bullshit. I hate it. It hate the fact that every Jesus lover out there wants to use the day as a reason to force their religion down my throat. Sorry to all of you Christians out there, but Jesus was hardly born on December 25th. Let's talk September. Most signs point to that month.
In fact, Christmas was being celebrated WAY before Jesus was ever born. It was originally a pagan holiday. As the days got shorter and shorter, people would use the celebration as a way of appeasing their gods. They would ask that their gods bring the sun back to them. That's why the celebration was held around the winter soltice, which is the shortest day of the year. So, how did it become attributed to the birth of Christ?
Well, after Rome took over the world, the emporer started following this new fangled religion called Christianity. The church decreed that there would be no celebrations to the pagan gods. That didn't go over too well. In fact, no one really wanted to convert. The church decided to let the heathens have their celebration (a celebration that went AGAINST the teachings of the church) but instead of celebrating the pagan gods they would be celebrating the birth of Jesus. The people didn't really care just as long as they got to have their celebration. From then on, Christmas was no long a pagan holiday, mostly because of the apathy of the masses.
Obviously, that's a very brief history of Christmas, but it's important to know that Christmas is NOT Jesus' birthday nor was it originally a Christian holiday. The same goes for Easter. Leave it to the pagans to invent the two most holy Christian holidays.
That's going to be the next tv show I pitch to the networks. "Those Wacky Pagans" should be hitting the UPN sometime next fall.
Wow, this stupid entry just went all over the place. I need to get laid so I can finally clear my mind of all this stupid shit.
Seriously, though, see Larry the Cable Guy get his asshole ripped by David Cross!!! It's fucking awesome. David Cross is to comedy what punk rock is to music. That made no sense.
posted by Jym Is Cool at 9:53 PM
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