Not As Fat!
So, I'm down to 208.5 lbs. It's all about rice. Ten trillion asian people can't be wrong. At this rate, I will officially be "hot" in about seven years. I can't wait!!!!
I'm going to see George Carlin in State College next Thursday. Should be pretty awesome. He's funny. I like to laugh. It's a great combination. The last time I saw him I had a great time. Beamen can back me up on that. Granted, I actually had a shitty time on the way home, but that was because I'm a guy who think girls should like me even when they don't. I'm stupid like that.
The day after I see Mr. Carlin I'm leaving for NYC to see SNL. Also, I'll be getting loaded with my boy Drew. I'm glad I got the SNL tickets just because now I have a reason to go to NYC. I mean, Drew's great at all, but driving for five fucking hours just to hang out would be fucking nuts. Now, if he was going to suck me off, then maybe we'll start talking.
So, I was thinking at work today that the best thing ever was to turn twenty one. Not because I finally was able to drink legally, but because now I can back any law that wants to restrict anything for anyone under the age of twenty one. I mean, sixteen year olds shouldn't be allowed to drive anymore as far as I'm concerned. We should raise the age for porn and cigarettes to, how old am I now? Oh, we should raise it all to 26. I love knowing that in some stores thirteen year olds can't be certain cds. They can't get into certain movies. They can't even buy cold medicine. It's fucking great. Why is it great? Because I'm old enough to be a dick. Plus, I can make money of these stupid shits by charging them double what the item costs just to get it for them. I love being old.
Anyhow, that's it. Seriously, I'm done.
Okay, one more little tidbit just for you. Wait, not you, the other guy. Yes, him. He's cool. You're a dick.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with fifteen year old girls? I know it's kind of illegal, but is it morally wrong? I mean, if my body tells me it's the right thing to do, does that make it okay? Should I listen to my brain or my loins? Well, it doesn't matter because both say I should hit it. My point is this. If she's going to have sex anyhow, shouldn't it be with me since I'm not a jerk. Plus, most guys that age last about twenty seconds. I can last atleast twice that long. Of course, halfway thru I'm crying, but I still stay at it. Anyhow, if you know a fifteen year old girl who would be willing to do it with me, please, for her sake, keep her away. I wouldn't want to ruin her idea of sex for the rest of her life.
Was that gross? You tell me America!
I'm going to see George Carlin in State College next Thursday. Should be pretty awesome. He's funny. I like to laugh. It's a great combination. The last time I saw him I had a great time. Beamen can back me up on that. Granted, I actually had a shitty time on the way home, but that was because I'm a guy who think girls should like me even when they don't. I'm stupid like that.
The day after I see Mr. Carlin I'm leaving for NYC to see SNL. Also, I'll be getting loaded with my boy Drew. I'm glad I got the SNL tickets just because now I have a reason to go to NYC. I mean, Drew's great at all, but driving for five fucking hours just to hang out would be fucking nuts. Now, if he was going to suck me off, then maybe we'll start talking.
So, I was thinking at work today that the best thing ever was to turn twenty one. Not because I finally was able to drink legally, but because now I can back any law that wants to restrict anything for anyone under the age of twenty one. I mean, sixteen year olds shouldn't be allowed to drive anymore as far as I'm concerned. We should raise the age for porn and cigarettes to, how old am I now? Oh, we should raise it all to 26. I love knowing that in some stores thirteen year olds can't be certain cds. They can't get into certain movies. They can't even buy cold medicine. It's fucking great. Why is it great? Because I'm old enough to be a dick. Plus, I can make money of these stupid shits by charging them double what the item costs just to get it for them. I love being old.
Anyhow, that's it. Seriously, I'm done.
Okay, one more little tidbit just for you. Wait, not you, the other guy. Yes, him. He's cool. You're a dick.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with fifteen year old girls? I know it's kind of illegal, but is it morally wrong? I mean, if my body tells me it's the right thing to do, does that make it okay? Should I listen to my brain or my loins? Well, it doesn't matter because both say I should hit it. My point is this. If she's going to have sex anyhow, shouldn't it be with me since I'm not a jerk. Plus, most guys that age last about twenty seconds. I can last atleast twice that long. Of course, halfway thru I'm crying, but I still stay at it. Anyhow, if you know a fifteen year old girl who would be willing to do it with me, please, for her sake, keep her away. I wouldn't want to ruin her idea of sex for the rest of her life.
Was that gross? You tell me America!
posted by Jym Is Cool at 11:53 PM
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