Zero Weddings and a Funeral

So, I just got home from my cousin's funeral. Talk about depressing. Not just because of the situation, I mean, that's depressing enough. Sitting in church for an hour makes it even worse. And I swear, the priest was only learning his lines a few words at a time. It was brutal. He'd say three or four words and then pause.

Then a few more words.

Pause.

A few...

Pause.

...more words.

Pause.

And I rememeberd why I never, ever go to church. It's goddamned ridiculous. I'm an atheist so all of it is ridiculous to me, but even if I believed in god, I would find the whole process of sitting and standing and kneeling and breaking bread and shaking some incence and whatever the hell else the priest does to be friggin' useless. I mean, if god exists and he's everywhere at all times, do you really need to go to church? Can't you just sit in your back yard and talk to him by yourself? Anyhow, my hatred of church isn't what I'm trying to write about. So, I digress...

It was really hard to see some members of the family taking it so hard. It's totally understandable that they would be so upset. That's not my point. My point is that it's just hard to watch. I just want to walk over, give them a hug and somehow transfer all the pain from them to me. Of course, it's impossible to do that, but it doesn't mean I didn't wish I could do it anyhow. But, with every tragedy, something good usually comes of it. And in a case like this, it means almost the entire family gets together. It was nice to see people I haven't seen in years. Of course, you wish that the circumstances were better, but hopefully something like this will show everyone that we need to have get togethers that aren't funerals or weddings. I mean, with my family, drinking is reason enough to party, so why not get the whole family together?

Anyhow, by the end of the little luncheon afterwards, everyone seemed to be in better spirits. I know there's still going to be nights where people just can't handle it, but it's nice to see that the healing process has at least begun, even if it's still a long time away from being complete.

Anyhow, this stupid blog isn't supposed to be about other people, it's supposed to be about me, so enough with this "caring" bullshit. It's all about me now mofos!!

So, I got sick as shit on Wednesday night. I just felt super cold and couldn't stop shivering for about four hours. I had a ton of clothes on and a few blankets and my space heater cranked up to 80 and I still couldn't get warm. I just kept shivering and feeling like I was going to throw up. I took a few sleeping pills hoping that I'd pass out and sleep it off. It did the trick because I woke up around 1AM and I was sweating my balls off. I couldn't breathe it was so hot. But I felt like shit all day Thursday and even today I'm still feeling pretty crappy. I've has this nagging headache that comes and goes. It feels like someone is pushing a needle thru the back of my skull for about a minute or two and then it goes away and I feel fine. It's pretty weird. Hopefully I'm feeling alright for tomorrow because I have a long, long day of traveling ahead of me. Tomorrow morning I leave for NYC to see SNL. It should be fun. I'm going with Beamen, who is moving to Colorado on Monday or Tuesday, so it's kind of his last hurrah before he leaves. The musical guest is going to be the Strokes, so there's a decent chance we might both get kicked out for harassing them. I mean, they fucking suck. They really do. God, I hate them.

Anyhow, the big Steelers game is on Sunday. That should be a lot of fun, especially if they win. I really hope they do because I'd really like to see the Steelers win a Super Bowl in my lifetime. Plus, I'd like to see my dad see them win. I know he'd get a big kick out of it.

Well, I'm really out of things to write. Plus, I need to take a nap. It's been a long few days and I'm sure I've had it way easier than most. Besides, I have a world to save.