Showers Are For Losers
"The last time I cared whose dick was in her was the last time I took my dick out." - Not Your Friends
I don't know why that line just struck me, but it did. I'm listening to my collection of seven inches and I'm on the Not Your Friends section and that line came up and for just an instance it resonated with me the way that the bible resonates with die hard Christians. Now as I type this, that feeling has passed and I no longer care about that line but for just one second it summed up my life. It's weird how music can do that. One day you totally identify with the latest Nickelback song and then a few weeks later you either realize how big of a douche bag you were for liking Nickelback and you go on a three day bender or you keep liking Nickelback and then hopefully you blow your fucking brains out. Anyhow, my love affair with that line has now passed, but I'm sure it will come back around some time.
I really need to shower. I didn't get to shower yesterday because I slept most of the day and then I forgot to do my laundry which meant that I had absolutely no clean towels, so I figured I'd just wait until today to shower. I'm still waiting. How disgusting is that? Oh well, I never claimed to be hygenic.
You should see the horrible hair shaving that's happened on my body because of my surgery. They had to shave some of my hair off to get at my appendix. No big deal. The problem was that the tape I used to keep my bandage on would go right over some of my pubic hair. That means that ripping it off hurt like hell, so I decided to shave off that section of my pubes. Well, that meant that half of my pubes were gone while the other half were nearing "70's Bush" territory. That felt and looked weird so I decided I should just shave off the rest. Yeah, don't do that ever. It looks twice as gay and it feels horrible as the hair grows back in a bit. There's nothing more fun than stubble rubbing up against your dick. Unluckily, yet fortunately, no woman will ever see this horrible, horrible trim job I did.
I was watching the President give a speech today. Afterwards he actually took questions from reporters. Most of the reporters threw him some softball questions. It was pathetic. Finally someone asked him what the US's response would be if Iraq fell into a civil war. I think that's a pretty fair question. What was the presidents answer? If you guessed that he dodged the question, then you would be correct. He gave a five minute answer stating that we were going to try and keep that from happening. He didn't say how we would stop that from happening. That might have been an almost close answer. Instead he said that we need to keep Iraq from falling into a civil war and that he doesn't think that will happen. Bullshit. How the fuck can you duck a question like that? That's been his M.O. since he first ran in 2000. He gets asked a question and then he tells you that we need to take care of problems, but he never tells you how he plans to do that. This might be the most inept president we've ever had... ever. It's things like that that really make me want to run for office. I just want to see a politician be honest and answer a fucking question. I would be a horrible politician becuse I would give my honest opinion and I would actually answer a question. To make things worse, I would admit when I don't know something. I would almost respect this president if he would just say he has no clue what's going on. At least that would be honest. That's what people really liked about Clinton. He was full of shit, but he let you know it. He didn't try to hide it. He was honest about being full of shit. You really have to admire that.
This next part's for you Foster. You god damn right-wing asshole. Just kidding. Anyhow, in one of my little rants before, I talked about how conservatives don't give a shit about poor families and especially poor mothers and I said that if you really want to stop abortion without making it illegal, you would make it easier for poor parents to take care of their kids. Having both parents working two jobs sure as hell hasn't worked out too well. That's the thing that these conservatives complain about, too. They want the family to spend more time together, but they call you lazy if you choose to only work one job and spend time with your kids. Conservatives want to have it both ways. They want you to earn your right to live decently, but then chastise you for not spending enough time with your kids. Some parents are also doing it alone. That makes it even worse. We should be helping these people who strive to make things better for themselves instead of telling them they will never amount to anything. Peole are dealt horrible hands and if they don't try to change that, then yes, they deserve to stay mired in their poverty. But what about the single mother who's working two jobs just trying to make ends meet. Shouldn't we help those who help themselves? I know that there are always a few who screw things up and try to take advantage of things like that, but you don't just throw the baby out with the bathwater. It's just like any sort of system where someone takes advantage of it. You punish those that cheat and then you change the system to fix the problem. when another problem pops up, you fix it and stay vigilant. You don't punish the majority of people who follow the rules just because a small minority screws things up. Trust me, I think that throwing money at a problem should be the last thing you do, but when money can be a solution then you should start chucking. It's all about prioritizing. Take money away from things that don't really need it. I'm one of those anomalies: A super liberal who doesn't want to waste money. I know that some people can't really understand that, but we do exist. We want to help anyone and everyone, but be smart about it. If that makes any sense.
Wow, that was way too serious. Maybe I can talk about how much I hate those new VolksWagon commercials. There's nothing lamer than a retard with a thick german accent speaking hiphop lingo. It's fucking annoying as shit. Anyone who actually likes those commercials deserves to get raped in the ass and not by me, but by someone who actually has an average size or bigger dick. I'm hung like a pimple.
Damn, I'm horny.
I don't know why that line just struck me, but it did. I'm listening to my collection of seven inches and I'm on the Not Your Friends section and that line came up and for just an instance it resonated with me the way that the bible resonates with die hard Christians. Now as I type this, that feeling has passed and I no longer care about that line but for just one second it summed up my life. It's weird how music can do that. One day you totally identify with the latest Nickelback song and then a few weeks later you either realize how big of a douche bag you were for liking Nickelback and you go on a three day bender or you keep liking Nickelback and then hopefully you blow your fucking brains out. Anyhow, my love affair with that line has now passed, but I'm sure it will come back around some time.
I really need to shower. I didn't get to shower yesterday because I slept most of the day and then I forgot to do my laundry which meant that I had absolutely no clean towels, so I figured I'd just wait until today to shower. I'm still waiting. How disgusting is that? Oh well, I never claimed to be hygenic.
You should see the horrible hair shaving that's happened on my body because of my surgery. They had to shave some of my hair off to get at my appendix. No big deal. The problem was that the tape I used to keep my bandage on would go right over some of my pubic hair. That means that ripping it off hurt like hell, so I decided to shave off that section of my pubes. Well, that meant that half of my pubes were gone while the other half were nearing "70's Bush" territory. That felt and looked weird so I decided I should just shave off the rest. Yeah, don't do that ever. It looks twice as gay and it feels horrible as the hair grows back in a bit. There's nothing more fun than stubble rubbing up against your dick. Unluckily, yet fortunately, no woman will ever see this horrible, horrible trim job I did.
I was watching the President give a speech today. Afterwards he actually took questions from reporters. Most of the reporters threw him some softball questions. It was pathetic. Finally someone asked him what the US's response would be if Iraq fell into a civil war. I think that's a pretty fair question. What was the presidents answer? If you guessed that he dodged the question, then you would be correct. He gave a five minute answer stating that we were going to try and keep that from happening. He didn't say how we would stop that from happening. That might have been an almost close answer. Instead he said that we need to keep Iraq from falling into a civil war and that he doesn't think that will happen. Bullshit. How the fuck can you duck a question like that? That's been his M.O. since he first ran in 2000. He gets asked a question and then he tells you that we need to take care of problems, but he never tells you how he plans to do that. This might be the most inept president we've ever had... ever. It's things like that that really make me want to run for office. I just want to see a politician be honest and answer a fucking question. I would be a horrible politician becuse I would give my honest opinion and I would actually answer a question. To make things worse, I would admit when I don't know something. I would almost respect this president if he would just say he has no clue what's going on. At least that would be honest. That's what people really liked about Clinton. He was full of shit, but he let you know it. He didn't try to hide it. He was honest about being full of shit. You really have to admire that.
This next part's for you Foster. You god damn right-wing asshole. Just kidding. Anyhow, in one of my little rants before, I talked about how conservatives don't give a shit about poor families and especially poor mothers and I said that if you really want to stop abortion without making it illegal, you would make it easier for poor parents to take care of their kids. Having both parents working two jobs sure as hell hasn't worked out too well. That's the thing that these conservatives complain about, too. They want the family to spend more time together, but they call you lazy if you choose to only work one job and spend time with your kids. Conservatives want to have it both ways. They want you to earn your right to live decently, but then chastise you for not spending enough time with your kids. Some parents are also doing it alone. That makes it even worse. We should be helping these people who strive to make things better for themselves instead of telling them they will never amount to anything. Peole are dealt horrible hands and if they don't try to change that, then yes, they deserve to stay mired in their poverty. But what about the single mother who's working two jobs just trying to make ends meet. Shouldn't we help those who help themselves? I know that there are always a few who screw things up and try to take advantage of things like that, but you don't just throw the baby out with the bathwater. It's just like any sort of system where someone takes advantage of it. You punish those that cheat and then you change the system to fix the problem. when another problem pops up, you fix it and stay vigilant. You don't punish the majority of people who follow the rules just because a small minority screws things up. Trust me, I think that throwing money at a problem should be the last thing you do, but when money can be a solution then you should start chucking. It's all about prioritizing. Take money away from things that don't really need it. I'm one of those anomalies: A super liberal who doesn't want to waste money. I know that some people can't really understand that, but we do exist. We want to help anyone and everyone, but be smart about it. If that makes any sense.
Wow, that was way too serious. Maybe I can talk about how much I hate those new VolksWagon commercials. There's nothing lamer than a retard with a thick german accent speaking hiphop lingo. It's fucking annoying as shit. Anyone who actually likes those commercials deserves to get raped in the ass and not by me, but by someone who actually has an average size or bigger dick. I'm hung like a pimple.
Damn, I'm horny.
posted by Jym Is Cool at 9:18 PM
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