Three Inch Sideways Vagina

Nope, that's not the name of my new wave emo band. Although, it would be a pretty kick ass name. It's actually what I have on my tummy right now. I have a three inch sideways vagina. It doesn't bleed nearly enough to be a real vagina, but it's just as ugly. Thank god for watered down Vicodin or I'd be in a hell of a lot of pain. I still am, but now it's only confined to when I have to stand up.

What sucks most is that I have three positions. I'm either lying on my back, sitting up and standing. There's no lying on my side or stomach. My back is kicking the shit out of me. Luckily, I'm going to finally be able to start my trendy drug habit, but play it off as being hooked to pain killers. Hooray for me!

Speaking of shitty bands with cool band names, which I think I was at the beginning. Or maybe I was just thinking about it when I started writing this. Either way, fuck you, it's what I'm writing about now. There are so many cool band names taken by shitty bands. Most of them are shitty emo bands, which is redundant, but hey, there used to be a cool emo band or two back in the day. Hell, Jawbreaker was the first and they were amazing. Anyhow, there should be a rule that if you sing shitty music then you should stop making music, but since that won't happen, you should be forced to give up your cool band name. That's right, I'm talking to you Fallout Boy. It's the same thing with kick ass girls who date douche bag guys. You see the girl and think "wow, what a lot of potential" but then you hear their boyfriend talk and you just want to strangle them. That's how I feel when I hear a cool band name and then find out the band sucks. It would be like hearing about a band called "Death to Whitey" and then finding out they play reggae-inspired emocore. It just makes you want to blow your fucking brains out.

Well, I'm out of here. No reason.