Two in One Day?

Yup. I'm typing some more useless jargon. This one has less of a point than the last. This is more or less just me writing random crap. Get used to it!

So, Britney Spears is all knocked up. Can I get a "Who cares?"

You know, pornography gets a bad name because it degrates women and all that jazz, but let's look at the positive things it has done. It gives me something to look forward to every night before I go to bed. It earns billions of dollars for creepy guys with ponytails and super hot, super plastic barely legal babes. But, the most important thing is that pornography has advanced technology over the last 30 years.

If it wasn't for pornography the VCR would never have caught on so fast. Once porn went to VHS, VCR's started flying off the shelves and the prices dropped dramaticly. But, that's not all porn has done. Have you heard of a thing called the internet? You can thank porno for that. Initially conceived as a way for doctors, scientist, the military, etc... to transfer information quickly, the general public wasn't really logged on until pornography websites started popping up. Once porn could be viewed without having to leave the house to rent the videos, internet subscriptions started piling up.

Pornography is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I think we all need to give a big thanks to Pornography. Hip, Hip, Hooray!!!

So, I've been viewing people's myspace pages and frankly, most of you are fucking boring! You don't write anything. You have a bunch of sexy pictures that I don't want to see because you're guys. And the girls scare me because I'm afraid they'll find out I was looking at their pictures and that might freak them out. Why I think that, I don't know.

So, I've had eight friends on this stupid page for what seems like years and it gets annoying. I mean, I go to friend's pages and see they have like seventeen quadrillion friends and I realize that most of the people on their page are people that I know, yet, they aren't in my list. How does that make me feel? Oddly enough, pathetic. Why should I care? I shouldn't, but I do. Can you dig?

Why don't you just add them as friends? Well, that's what I'm saying. Why don't I? Maybe it's because I don't want to infer a friendship that isn't really there. Maybe I'm their friend, but they don't really give two shits about me. How am I supposed to know? I could just throw caution to the wind (okay, I know that's a little OVER-dramatic, but fuck you!) and add them, but what if they don't like me. Then I've put them into a situation where they have to either reject me, which most people don't like to do, or they would have to have my stupid picture in their list of friends. Most people don't want that. How do you explain it to someone? "Oh, that's some guy from back home. He thinks I like him, so I added him. Just ignore it."

How does that conversation even start?

Why am I even typing this?

I know that I have a weird complex. It's not an inferiority complex, because I frankly think that I'm better than you. That's not me being cocky. That's me knowing who I am and knowing that I'm better than you. It doesn't mean I think you're inferior to me. That's not it. I just like who I am as a person. If I thought there were things I was lacking personality-wise, then I would make those changes, but I don't think I do. Therefore, I'm the perfect personality type. That means everyone is not as good as me. If you don't think the same way, then that means you think you lack something and you aren't the person you want to be and frankly, that's sad. You should always be your favorite person.

Now, that sounds weird considering I'm a suicidal manic-depressive, but seriously, it makes sense. I'm better than you. And I won't be offended if you think you're better than me. Does that mean you're more deserving? No. Just like I'm not more deserving than you.

So, why don't I hang out with people like myself? Because I already have myself. I enjoy hanging out with different, but similiar people. Does any of this make sense?

Anyhow, back to my lameness. I don't have an inferiority complex, but I do have a fear of rejection. But, I'm not afraid of being rejected outright. I'm afraid of the secret rejection. I'm scared of being deceived. I don't want to be told that I'm a friend, but in reality, the person can't stand me. I wouldn't mind being told flat out that I'm a loser. That doesn't bother me. I don't like the secret rejection. Dig?

So, it's weird for me to talk to friends of friends. How do I know that they like me? I don't. I know that they like a friend of mine. So, I can't go around calling them up out of the blue to hang out. That's weird. But, if they called me, I wouldn't think that's weird. Got that? The only way for me to end up being friends with a friend of a friend is to run into them unexpectedly and from that point make plans to hang out sometime.

I know it's weird. And it sucks because I have friends of friends that are super cool and would love to hang with them. Oddly enough, most of my friends of friends are super cute girls. How does that work?

Anyhow, most of these girls are girls that I would date, but that's not the point. The point it, I would also just hang out with them. But, it ain't never gonna happen. That's right, a double negative. That's how fucked up this is. I used a double negative even though I HATE double negatives. Why am I such a loser?

So, that end my sad tale of woe. I just got depressed and I now must change my little "mood" thing to something stupid.