My Chocolate Randomness Attack!
The Jetsons is set in the year 2062. That's about 56 years away. It seems to me that we need get working on flying cars and traveling around in tubes. I doube that we'll be able to have everything ready by 2062. We need to pick up the pace a little bit. Christ, why couldn't we have been working on this stuff 40 years ago? It would be sweet to fly around the world and when I finally get to where I need to be, I can just get sucked into a tube and land at the exact place I need to be. Moving sidewalks everywhere would also be pretty sweet. Not to mention the two-day work week. That's what I hate about television. It feeds you a bunch of false hopes and dreams. All TV does is lie.
Look at the Flintstones. I don't think that show is 100ccurate. Of course, I wasn't there, so I really wouldn't know.
Speaking of not knowing what I'm talking about, but having an opinion anyway, what's the deal with NASA? Why the fuck are we spending money to go to the moon? Sending satellites out in space might seem important, but couldn't we find something a little more important to spend the billions and billions of dollars on? How can you tell a homeless man that we can't help him because we have to send some people to the moon? "Sorry soldier. We would love to give you some armor, but you see, the moon is just too important." Apparently, there might be oil up there. Let's hope so. Now, I understand that a lot of the research that's been put into NASA has given us some important things, but have we found the cure for AIDS or cancer in space? I didn't think so. I'm just as curious about the universe as the next guy, but really, I think it's time we lay NASA to rest. "Thanks for Velcro and Tang, now it's time for you leave. It's been fun."
So, abortion, huh? What's with all the fuss? I keep getting more and more bulletins about how evil abortion is and then more and more bulletins saying that abortion isn't so bad. Whatever. I don't really care anymore. I think the whole debate is fucking pointless. Know why? No one will EVER change their mind about the issue. Either you're pro-killing babies or anti-woman. Either way you're a jerk. I think that's what gets in my craw the most; the fact that neither side can see or understand the other side's point of view. God forbid if a churchgoing Christian thinks about the pro-choice argument and sees where they are coming from. And god forbid is some Jesus hating rugmuncher see where the pro-lifers are coming from. I mean, if you believe that life starts at conception (some feel that sperm and eggs are not only a great breakfast, but also where life starts) then why wouldn't you think that abortion is murder? I mean, forget about whether or not the argument for life starting at conception is valid or not and realize that if you accept that life starts at conception then abortion would, in fact, be murder. I mean, you can't really argue against it. But, look at the other side. An embryo is hardly viable in the first three months (when most abortions are performed) so why shouldn't it be flushed out of the system? Women do it naturally all the time. Would you call any woman that's had more than one period a serial killer? Of course not. So, let's just all agree that if an abortion is to be performed, then the first three months would be the best time to do it since all that's in the womb is a mass of cells that wouldn't survive more than a nanosecond on the outside. I think even the most pro-life person would agree with that. It's when you get to around month six that things start to get a little hairy. Around that time most fetuses could survive popping out. That's where even the most pro-choice person should sit back and think a little bit. The leaves the middle three months for us to argue about. I really think that if we could keep abortion in the first 3 months absolutely legal and then kind of restricted it after the pregnancy hit the six month mark, then we could all agree on that. I mean, not everyone's happy, but isn't that what a democracy is all about? Just for the record, I'm uber pro-choice. I think that abortion should legal all the way into the 20th trimester. That's right, up until the kid is five years old. I'm that pro-choice. Take that!
I just realized that I probably sound like an idiot in that last section. Mostly because I decided not to reread it at all. I don't care if it kind of all jumbles together or not. I'm not changing it.
Speaking of god, which we weren't, I've wondering for quite some time now why doesn't god talk to people anymore? If you read the bible, which I don't, you'll notice that every two pages god is telling someone what to do. If he was as talkative now as he was then I'd be willing to bet that every last asshole on this planet would be in church every day of the week. Everybody would be donating every last cent they earn so the priests will be able to drink from platinum goblets and eat only the finest slices of meat in hopes that these men of god would put in a good word. Of course, that always brings me back to the point I've been making since I was eight years old. If god is everywhere and he sees and hears everything then why do I have to go to church? Can't I sit in my room and talk to him there? And if god is all powerful, why doesn't he give all of the churches all of the money they could ever need so they won't have to try to take it from us working stiffs? Yeah, I used the phrase "working stiffs" when I was eight. Deal with it. Anyhow, what was my point? Oh yeah, if god exists you'd think he'd take some people aside and other them some insider information. Oh wait, I think he does. The only problem is, maybe we think they're crazy. That's another thing that bothers me. When some guy says that he's Jesus, these Christian assholes call him a heretic and say he's insane. Wait, haven't you been saying for 2,000 years that Jesus was supposed to come back? Shouldn't you treating this guy with a little more respect? If you believe so much then you shouldn't be so judging of the guy. Besides, that's god's job, remember? where was I? Oh yeah, god should start letting people know that he's around. It would raise attendance and I'm sure it would lower the crime rate quite a bit. I know I'd stop jerking off so much.
No I wouldn't.
I was listening to my David Cross album a few days ago and I heard one of my favorite lines. I'm going to try to quote it right now. "If you don't believe in evolution, give a camera to an elderly man and to a monkey and watch them go. The monkey tries to use the camera, but can't and then he throws his poo. The elderly man can't use the camera and he doesn't throw his poo. That's evolution." That's nowhere near the actually quote, but during it he acts out what the man and the monkey do, so I just turned the actions into some words, but you get the fucking idea. Anyhow, anyone who doesn't believe in evolution is a moron. There is so much evidence that it's retarded. Some people refuse to believe, though, because they think that the bible is the ultimate truth. Well, sorry, folks, that book was written two thousand years ago. It was written in a dead language and then translated into other dead languages and those translations were changed on a whim by whatever king was in power at the time and it all filters down to what we have now. How many different versions are there now? Too many to count. Well, not really, but I'm too lazy to actually find out. My point is, is one bible more true than another? I hardly think so. That alone should give you pause to think the bible is the ultimate truth. Here's the thing, though. You can still believe that god created the universe and still believe in evolution. It's easy. Think of the bible as a book of morals and stories to convey those morals. Most sane people would agree that's the main purpose of the bible. Hell, most priests I know are confortable with that explanation of the bible. If it works for them then it should work for you. Now, evolution is a wonderful theory. It explains quite a bit. It explains how we got here, not to mention why we got here. The biggest problem that ignorant people tend to have is that they don't want to think that they are decendants of monkeys. Well, think what you want, but it doesn't change the truth. Their biggest argument is "If we came from monkeys then why are monkeys still here?" Actually, that's a good question. The answer is even better. Evolutional theory doesn't claim that we came from monkeys. In fact, it claims we don't come from monkeys. It claims that millions of years ago some species of mammal split into two groups. One group lived in the trees and evolved into modern day monkeys. The other group lived on the ground somewhere in Africa and started walking upright and eventually evolved into homosapians. That's us. We came from some species that turned into humans and monkeys. It's pretty simple, actually. I'm amazed that it took so long for someone to figure it all out. Thank evolution for Darwin!
Violence Rules. Wait, let me rephrase that. In theory violence rules. I really love seeing stuff blowing up and I really like to see people get hurt, but one they do, I feel bad. That's why, in theory, violence rules. Take 9/11 for example. When I first saw the building on fire, I though to myself "That is fucking awesome!" After I saw the second plane hit, I immediately realized that I was a dick for thinking that. And even when the buildings collapsed, I thought "That is fucking awesome!" OF course, I didn't mean that it was awesome that people had died, but just the scene of seeing two building fall to the ground is pretty cool. It's only when you take it out of theory and into reality that you see how horrible violence can be. Once I realized that people were dead and that families were broken, I knew that it was horrible. I don't know if I'm explaining it all right, but I'm sure a few of you understand what I'm trying to say. If you don't, maybe this will help. When I play Grand Theft Auto, I think it's awesome to load up on ammo and just start shooting people. I think it's great, but I know that if some asshole does that in real life, then they are an asshole. I really wish I wasn't so tired so I could explain it better, but that's what I get for writing this on three minutes of sleep.
Well, I'm going to go since I can't keep my eyes open anymore.
Look at the Flintstones. I don't think that show is 100ccurate. Of course, I wasn't there, so I really wouldn't know.
Speaking of not knowing what I'm talking about, but having an opinion anyway, what's the deal with NASA? Why the fuck are we spending money to go to the moon? Sending satellites out in space might seem important, but couldn't we find something a little more important to spend the billions and billions of dollars on? How can you tell a homeless man that we can't help him because we have to send some people to the moon? "Sorry soldier. We would love to give you some armor, but you see, the moon is just too important." Apparently, there might be oil up there. Let's hope so. Now, I understand that a lot of the research that's been put into NASA has given us some important things, but have we found the cure for AIDS or cancer in space? I didn't think so. I'm just as curious about the universe as the next guy, but really, I think it's time we lay NASA to rest. "Thanks for Velcro and Tang, now it's time for you leave. It's been fun."
So, abortion, huh? What's with all the fuss? I keep getting more and more bulletins about how evil abortion is and then more and more bulletins saying that abortion isn't so bad. Whatever. I don't really care anymore. I think the whole debate is fucking pointless. Know why? No one will EVER change their mind about the issue. Either you're pro-killing babies or anti-woman. Either way you're a jerk. I think that's what gets in my craw the most; the fact that neither side can see or understand the other side's point of view. God forbid if a churchgoing Christian thinks about the pro-choice argument and sees where they are coming from. And god forbid is some Jesus hating rugmuncher see where the pro-lifers are coming from. I mean, if you believe that life starts at conception (some feel that sperm and eggs are not only a great breakfast, but also where life starts) then why wouldn't you think that abortion is murder? I mean, forget about whether or not the argument for life starting at conception is valid or not and realize that if you accept that life starts at conception then abortion would, in fact, be murder. I mean, you can't really argue against it. But, look at the other side. An embryo is hardly viable in the first three months (when most abortions are performed) so why shouldn't it be flushed out of the system? Women do it naturally all the time. Would you call any woman that's had more than one period a serial killer? Of course not. So, let's just all agree that if an abortion is to be performed, then the first three months would be the best time to do it since all that's in the womb is a mass of cells that wouldn't survive more than a nanosecond on the outside. I think even the most pro-life person would agree with that. It's when you get to around month six that things start to get a little hairy. Around that time most fetuses could survive popping out. That's where even the most pro-choice person should sit back and think a little bit. The leaves the middle three months for us to argue about. I really think that if we could keep abortion in the first 3 months absolutely legal and then kind of restricted it after the pregnancy hit the six month mark, then we could all agree on that. I mean, not everyone's happy, but isn't that what a democracy is all about? Just for the record, I'm uber pro-choice. I think that abortion should legal all the way into the 20th trimester. That's right, up until the kid is five years old. I'm that pro-choice. Take that!
I just realized that I probably sound like an idiot in that last section. Mostly because I decided not to reread it at all. I don't care if it kind of all jumbles together or not. I'm not changing it.
Speaking of god, which we weren't, I've wondering for quite some time now why doesn't god talk to people anymore? If you read the bible, which I don't, you'll notice that every two pages god is telling someone what to do. If he was as talkative now as he was then I'd be willing to bet that every last asshole on this planet would be in church every day of the week. Everybody would be donating every last cent they earn so the priests will be able to drink from platinum goblets and eat only the finest slices of meat in hopes that these men of god would put in a good word. Of course, that always brings me back to the point I've been making since I was eight years old. If god is everywhere and he sees and hears everything then why do I have to go to church? Can't I sit in my room and talk to him there? And if god is all powerful, why doesn't he give all of the churches all of the money they could ever need so they won't have to try to take it from us working stiffs? Yeah, I used the phrase "working stiffs" when I was eight. Deal with it. Anyhow, what was my point? Oh yeah, if god exists you'd think he'd take some people aside and other them some insider information. Oh wait, I think he does. The only problem is, maybe we think they're crazy. That's another thing that bothers me. When some guy says that he's Jesus, these Christian assholes call him a heretic and say he's insane. Wait, haven't you been saying for 2,000 years that Jesus was supposed to come back? Shouldn't you treating this guy with a little more respect? If you believe so much then you shouldn't be so judging of the guy. Besides, that's god's job, remember? where was I? Oh yeah, god should start letting people know that he's around. It would raise attendance and I'm sure it would lower the crime rate quite a bit. I know I'd stop jerking off so much.
No I wouldn't.
I was listening to my David Cross album a few days ago and I heard one of my favorite lines. I'm going to try to quote it right now. "If you don't believe in evolution, give a camera to an elderly man and to a monkey and watch them go. The monkey tries to use the camera, but can't and then he throws his poo. The elderly man can't use the camera and he doesn't throw his poo. That's evolution." That's nowhere near the actually quote, but during it he acts out what the man and the monkey do, so I just turned the actions into some words, but you get the fucking idea. Anyhow, anyone who doesn't believe in evolution is a moron. There is so much evidence that it's retarded. Some people refuse to believe, though, because they think that the bible is the ultimate truth. Well, sorry, folks, that book was written two thousand years ago. It was written in a dead language and then translated into other dead languages and those translations were changed on a whim by whatever king was in power at the time and it all filters down to what we have now. How many different versions are there now? Too many to count. Well, not really, but I'm too lazy to actually find out. My point is, is one bible more true than another? I hardly think so. That alone should give you pause to think the bible is the ultimate truth. Here's the thing, though. You can still believe that god created the universe and still believe in evolution. It's easy. Think of the bible as a book of morals and stories to convey those morals. Most sane people would agree that's the main purpose of the bible. Hell, most priests I know are confortable with that explanation of the bible. If it works for them then it should work for you. Now, evolution is a wonderful theory. It explains quite a bit. It explains how we got here, not to mention why we got here. The biggest problem that ignorant people tend to have is that they don't want to think that they are decendants of monkeys. Well, think what you want, but it doesn't change the truth. Their biggest argument is "If we came from monkeys then why are monkeys still here?" Actually, that's a good question. The answer is even better. Evolutional theory doesn't claim that we came from monkeys. In fact, it claims we don't come from monkeys. It claims that millions of years ago some species of mammal split into two groups. One group lived in the trees and evolved into modern day monkeys. The other group lived on the ground somewhere in Africa and started walking upright and eventually evolved into homosapians. That's us. We came from some species that turned into humans and monkeys. It's pretty simple, actually. I'm amazed that it took so long for someone to figure it all out. Thank evolution for Darwin!
Violence Rules. Wait, let me rephrase that. In theory violence rules. I really love seeing stuff blowing up and I really like to see people get hurt, but one they do, I feel bad. That's why, in theory, violence rules. Take 9/11 for example. When I first saw the building on fire, I though to myself "That is fucking awesome!" After I saw the second plane hit, I immediately realized that I was a dick for thinking that. And even when the buildings collapsed, I thought "That is fucking awesome!" OF course, I didn't mean that it was awesome that people had died, but just the scene of seeing two building fall to the ground is pretty cool. It's only when you take it out of theory and into reality that you see how horrible violence can be. Once I realized that people were dead and that families were broken, I knew that it was horrible. I don't know if I'm explaining it all right, but I'm sure a few of you understand what I'm trying to say. If you don't, maybe this will help. When I play Grand Theft Auto, I think it's awesome to load up on ammo and just start shooting people. I think it's great, but I know that if some asshole does that in real life, then they are an asshole. I really wish I wasn't so tired so I could explain it better, but that's what I get for writing this on three minutes of sleep.
Well, I'm going to go since I can't keep my eyes open anymore.
posted by Jym Is Cool at 2:03 AM
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