If I Were Happy, Would I Like Myself?
That question just dawned on me. I'm what you might call a pretty morose motherfucker. I pretty much hate every second of my life. If it weren't for certain friends and family, I wouldn't think twice about killing myself. Death doesn't scare me. Ruining someone's day does, though. Anyhow, that's not the point of this.
The point is, I think I'm a pretty rad person with a pretty unrad life. I know I'm a loser, but I still think I'm pretty rad. Here's my dilemna. If I were to one day wake up and be happy, and I mean truly happy, would I like the person that I would become? Would I miss the old depressed me? Would I even remember that I liked who I was? That's why I never tried to get medication for my sadness, well, other than vodka and valium.
I know quite a few people who are on meds and they don't seem to be a different person than when they are off them. Well, they are different in that they aren't depressed, but they still seem to have the same personality. I always worried that if I were to go on zoloft or something then my sense of humor would change or even my taste in movies, music and people would all change. Part of what I don't hate about myself is the fact that I have a handful of friends, but those friends are way better than other person on the planet, cept for my dad. He's aces.
What am I trying to say with all of this? I'm not really sure. It's just shit that's been going thru my head lately. Not that anyone really cares the stupid shit I have to say, but maybe some day I'll read some of this stupid shit and think "Wow, I was a huge fucking loser." and that will somehow make me laugh. That's me. I love to laugh at people's misfortunes, even my own.
Let me give you a piece of advice, though. If you ever decide to drink yourself to death, remember to not do it at someone else's house. That's just mean and it will make you rethink your decision. So, always drink yourself to death at your own house, preferably alone. Also, make sure you drink enough to kill you. Don't drink until you're going to throw up. That's your body's way of telling you that you haven't had enough. Just drink and drink and drink and take some pills. Those help.
Spread the word and your buttcheeks. The search is about to begin.
Fuck you all.
The point is, I think I'm a pretty rad person with a pretty unrad life. I know I'm a loser, but I still think I'm pretty rad. Here's my dilemna. If I were to one day wake up and be happy, and I mean truly happy, would I like the person that I would become? Would I miss the old depressed me? Would I even remember that I liked who I was? That's why I never tried to get medication for my sadness, well, other than vodka and valium.
I know quite a few people who are on meds and they don't seem to be a different person than when they are off them. Well, they are different in that they aren't depressed, but they still seem to have the same personality. I always worried that if I were to go on zoloft or something then my sense of humor would change or even my taste in movies, music and people would all change. Part of what I don't hate about myself is the fact that I have a handful of friends, but those friends are way better than other person on the planet, cept for my dad. He's aces.
What am I trying to say with all of this? I'm not really sure. It's just shit that's been going thru my head lately. Not that anyone really cares the stupid shit I have to say, but maybe some day I'll read some of this stupid shit and think "Wow, I was a huge fucking loser." and that will somehow make me laugh. That's me. I love to laugh at people's misfortunes, even my own.
Let me give you a piece of advice, though. If you ever decide to drink yourself to death, remember to not do it at someone else's house. That's just mean and it will make you rethink your decision. So, always drink yourself to death at your own house, preferably alone. Also, make sure you drink enough to kill you. Don't drink until you're going to throw up. That's your body's way of telling you that you haven't had enough. Just drink and drink and drink and take some pills. Those help.
Spread the word and your buttcheeks. The search is about to begin.
Fuck you all.
posted by Jym Is Cool at 10:08 PM
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