The Meaning of Life....

It's been two whole days since I last blogged. You're probably not wondering if something is wrong with me. Well, the answer to the question you never asked is "No." You can stop your worrying. There's no need to send out those care packages that I'm sure you all made up last night. Take all of the stuff back to the store. Except for the 3-pack of Fruit of the Loom boxers. Those I can use. I'm too lazy to do laundry.

Now, I promised you the meaning of life in the title of this entry. Well, actually I didn't promise anything, but I know how you assholes like to assume things. That's why I am, in fact, going to tell you all the meaning of life. Are you ready for it? Are you sitting down? Do you have socks on? Well, if you don't, put some on. This is going to knock them off. Here goes. The meaning of life is there's no meaning at all.

Is your mind blown?

That's it. Life isn't anything special. In fact, life is a zero-sum game. Before you're living, you're nothing. After you're dead, you're nothing. No matter what you do or what you gain while alive you will end up with nothing. It's kind of depressing, but at the same time it's kind of satisfying in a weird way. I think it might make dying a little easier knowing that you're not the only person who's going to die. Fred Durst is going to die. All of his money and horrible music will not save him. He isn't better than me. Well, I didn't need my "life has no meaning" theory to tell me that one. Just listen to him talk. He's a fucking douche bag.

I've been wondering. How can I be so different from all of the guys that I work with and somehow still get along with most of them? I don't understand it. I work in a factory filled with guys who are married, have kids, are quasi-racist and semi-homophobic. Everyone knows that I'm not married, I have no kids and I am totally homophobic and racist. Don't even put me in the same room with a fagger. (That's "fag" and "nigger" combined. I told you that I'm homophobic AND racist.)

For those of you that don't understand sarcasm, well, just try harder.

What the fuck is up with people ignoring me? It's whack. Everytime I try to talk to someone on AIM they don't fucking answer. Or they all of a sudden are "Away" or they log off all together. Am I that lame that people can't even pretend to like me for two minutes? Fucking people. No wonder why I'm so racist. I think I should really practice my sexism.

Seriously, though. Fuck you. If you don't want to talk to me just tell me you're busy or be a fucking man, grow some balls and tell me you don't want to talk to me anymore. I will only stab you two or three times.

I think that I do a pretty good job of helping people out when they need it. I think I even do a pretty good job of entertaining people. so, why the fuck doesn't anyone want to talk to me? I don't mind being disliked. I'm used to it. High school did prepare me pretty well for being disliked. I had four years of pretty intense training. I can handle someone not liking me. What I can't handle is someone lying to me. That shit sends me in a flying rage. Well, maybe not a flying rage. I'm pretty lazy. I guess it's more of a "stewing" rage. I just sit here and stew in my anger. Then after a few months I finally talk to the person, they pretend to apologize and then I fully forgive them only to go thru the same exact thing two months later. Fucking people. I hate you.

You know what the best part of being a liberal is? The best part is hating America first thing in the morning. There's nothing I love more than waking up, hating America and then eating a doughnut for breakfast. The only thing that might come close to hating America is fighting in the culture war. You know how we liberals just love war. There's nothing better than attacking our culture. Actually, there is. Attacking Christmas! Now there's something we liberals can't stand. Down with Christmas! You'd think that hating America and fighting TWO different wars would really keep us liberals busy. Well, you're wrong. We also give aid to terrorists. Not only that, but we also kill babies. That takes a lot out of us liberals and that's why we try to relax a lot instead of standing up against George W. Bush and his fucked up policies. We are just too tired and too stressed.

Well, that's enough for now. I'll be sure to be ignored by you all sometime later today.

Fuck you, AmeriKKKa! (How "punk rock" is that?)